when dream shatters

well... sorry for being dramatic in the title.

let's be frank, only a handful of lucky bastards are able to achieve their dream (through hard way and the easy way) what happened to the rest?

you know, dreams are like pieces of thin glass, it is so difficult to make yet it is so fragile that it can be broken into pieces anytime.

i am never a pessimistic person. i always believe that whatever happens, there must be a very logical reason behind it. or something else awaits me i this dream does not come true. But to what extend can we actually hold on?

i am not whining just expressing my feelings.

i don't remember the time when i was accepted to do something because of what i am good at.

i will always get blind sided due to my looks, my inexperience, my background etc. There are always reasons for me not to be accepted to be part of something. While the only thing that I have is not enough to ensure my place there.

damn it!


i REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT THAT JOB! I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO WORK THERE... ANYTHING

-that's it-

indispensable

"really?" that's what people would say.
"oh... definitely" that's what the response should be.

oh... really...

disposable

semua pun sama expect ME to understand others
orang lain? ada paham aq? ada nak ambil masa nak taw what i go through.

sama je

bila susah bila buntu carik la aku

bila senang buang lah aku

tak pe

i am a disposable friend.

use me n when ur done, please dispose me.

thank you

Kerja Tolak Kertas

a: Ape yang kita buat ni ye?

b: -senyap-

a: kenapa kita buat benda-benda ni ye?

b: -senyap lagi-

a: apa yang kita dapat kalau buat menda-menda ni wei?

b: -sunyi-

a: nape ko senyap wei?

b: -sunyi lagi-

a: dah la aku malas nak buat!

b: -senyum-

a: kenapa senyum-senyum plak ni?

b: -senyum nampak gigi-

a: (bengang terus blah)

benda lama yang tak di usap pasti berkarat?

17/11
Ari ni aq menembak lagi. Lama gak tak buat keje2 ni.

Rindu.

Dapat la berjumpa lagi dgn orang-orang yang pernah aku berkerja dulu. Especially Cheryl (Ghost) dan saudara Imri (Director impian).
Present/Future telah membuka hati n semangat aku untuk mula bergiat semula dalam dunia yang orang lihat sebagai "glamorous" ni. Ya sebahagian besarnya memang glamour tapi untuk sampai ke tahap tu memang tak mudah. Tanya lah bob zahiril adzim, datin seri tiara, eidil putra, dll. Contoh je ni orang lain pun akan cakap benda yang sama gak.
Nak lagi jawapan yang lebih "raw" bak kata orang kaukasi, tanya lah orang-orang yang buat extra. Orang-orang ni menghadapi lebih banyak pahit maung dalam industri ni. To make it worst, sekali lagi mat salleh aku terkeluar, orang tak perasan pun yang segelintir manusia ni telah mengorbankan masa dan tenaga mereka untuk sesebuah penghasilan itu.

Letih.

Ada yang buat kerja ni full time dengan harapan suatu hari nanti dapan lepak se"port" dengan Eizlan Yusof, Aaron Aziz, Maya Karin mungkin tak pun Rita Rudaini. Akan tetapi, tak semua dapat sampai ke atas tu. Ada yang akan terus menjadi ekstra sampai ke tua dan hanya mampu berangan-angan untuk bertepuk tampar dengan mereka-mereka ni. And claim that these people are their pal but in reality they are not.

sedih

ny business is NOT yours

just don't understand how people can be sooo nosey.

i mean don't ask other people abt me. Ask myself if u want to know things...

please go and f*ck yourself if you do not have the balls (or tits for that matter) to clarify things personally with me.

thank you.

dah terhantuk baru nak mengadah

sakit~~

~~padan muke