trail of thoughts

here are some things that has been wandering around my head:

1) am i making the right thing?

As u know (or not...) i have quit my previous job and started a new one at an art place in Great Eastern Mall. I am now working as something that I really hated. Dealing with kids. I mean small kids aged between 3 to 12 years old. To be quite honest I do not like kids, especially of the breed that keeps on running, screaming, yapping, bitching etc. I do not why I agreed to work there but here i am working there.

So far, so good except during the weekend. It is really hectic. Twenty or so kids in a small compound running with paint, screaming and demanding. *SIGH* what have i signed up for. However, the weekdays are not as bad. I mean it's kind of fun to work there to see the kids spread their creativity and all...

I am still hoping for something from Mr Bachelor No. 6.... MOE!!!!! help!!!!

2) I am NOT ASIAN enough?

A friend of mine told me that there will be an International movie being shoot here in KL (actually by now dah lepas) so she told me to send in my resume and we'll see how so said her. A few days after i received an email saying that i made the cut. To add to the excitement, my friend told me there will be Sean Penn and naomi Watts. She said that we will need to be wearing something formal.

2 days before the shoot. Still no call about anything. I was getting anxious so i asked my friend. she shaid she's been calling her friend and no answer. a day before still no news. that night my friend smsed me saying that i did not made the cut after the production from States made anotehr screening. The reason?

I DON'T LOOK ASIAN ENOUGH.

that's new. I mean i do not look caucasion enough to be part of any local stints yet i am not asian enough to be in an internation project. Do i look HISPANIC?

3) Am i really seeing people's true colour and will i like it?

I am starting to see the true colour of someone and i might not like it. Does it mean that i am superficial or does it mean that his/her true colour is not a pleasant one? Am i being judgemental or i am being rational?

4) Why do I feel that i need more money?

I am not getting married anytime soon. but why do i feel the need to get more money. Maybe i should start tuition class soon...

5) Do I have H1N1?

Seems like i have the symptoms. Difficulty in breathing, aches at joints, feel like feverish... am i dying or am i being paranoid? Am i getting paranoia by the day??? I think i am...

6) Can I REALLY achieve my dream?
i am starting to have doubts...

A whole new chapter

maka tertutuplah sudah satu bab dalam hidup aku. Bab yang pertajuk "Pelajar". Alhamdulillah tamat sudah pengajian aku setelah dekat nak 5 tahun belajar. Pelbagai pahit maung suka duka dilalui sepanjang setahun di Melaka dan 4 tahun di Shah Alam.

Fiendship was built some lasted the whole way through, some got stranded halfway through. New ones were made and faces come and go. 5 years is a short period of time come to think of it. But then again time is something that is relative and very subjective. So i won' talk much about it.

Apa yang penting sekarang, aku akan menyarungkan jubah yang dimenjadi impian setiap penuntut. Alhamdulillah...

Another thing, i am venturing into a new working world. No more training consultantcy. Now venturing into art. Teaching at get crafty. At the same time hopedully something else will come up.
Note to Moe: Hopefully it's something positing eh? wink! wink!

yup yup...

when a door is closed, another is opened...

Let's all pry for something better for everyone...

Amiiiin....

Empty Decorations

Empty Decorations a song sung by douglas lim and chelsea ng is my all time favourite song. it was the theme song of my favourite show "Kopitiam".

i really love this song in a way i can relate to this song.

and i really love the title empty decorations it has an ironic taste in it isn't it?
i mean a decoration will not be considered as a decoration if it's empty...
when it's empty then it's useless...

at times i feel like i am an empty decoration. i am there but i am not there...

just an empty decoration...

Empty Decorations...

I wake in the dark
With showers of life
Moments of emptiness around
Floating away
No other hope
Reality brings me

Into the ground
What can I do
What can I say
I need a place to hide away
Just for a while, just for a smile
Just for a life I used to know

The perfect song were filled with
Words of love and not with anger
What if they go
What if they leave me far behind

'Cause I don't wanna be alone... (uh oh)
Living life for on my own (uh oh)
I don't want to live my life in isolation
Filled with empty decorations
'Cause I want to be with people that I know

Who would do the things I do (uh oh)
Making all my dreams come true (uh oh)
I don't recognize the shadows at my door
Though I've seen them all before
Because the only thing I really want...
Is to be with you...