tired

"eyes hurt, hands shiver"
- hush hush by PCD

i have no idea but lately i feel like there's a huge boulder resting up my shoulder. i am tired physically, mentally and emotionally and i have no idea why. i feel like i am the greek god atlas carrying the globe on his back (although it was a huge misconception towards the greek god)








i have no idea why i feel like this. i want to talk about it but i have no idea who would listen to me and not being judgmental or relate it to him/her or think that he/she had caused it.
because i have no idea why i feel this way.
i wish i could be someone who could blame everyone and everything for making me feel the way i do.
i can't because i am not like that.

i wish that i could just scream and then vanish and start things over again. like reborn or something like that.
but i can't because i am don't have that sort of power.

i wish i could stop wishing and move on.

i wish i could be me and not care about lotsa things anymore
money, feelings, other people...
i hate being considerate when other people just does not consider me at all...

i wish i could consult someone or something and be certain when i have doubts.

i wish...

i wish...

i wish...

i wish whoever created the word wish didn't create it because wishing is makes people hurt especially when he/she knows that i will not happen at all...

screw whoever created that bloody word!
rot in HELL!!!!!!

nuff said!